Van Helsing

Dan Movie Reviews

Yeah, I could talk about the rather impressive visual effects. Or the set design. Or the look of the film. Or the imaginative action sequences and camerawork. Or the cool titles, and homage in the opening sequence to the classic Universal monster films. Or the absolutely amazingly great big-action high-octane orchestral and choral score by Alan Silvestri. But instead, all of that is completely overshadowed by how absolutely terrible Van Helsing is. It’s not even a B-Movie… it’s a D-Movie. It’s a bit too long, and the acting, story, and dialogue are terrible. Just terrible!

I don’t want to waste any more time talking about this film. Seriously. It has some entertaining visual moments, but ultimately, there is very little that is truly redeeming about this film. It’s about 130 minutes as well, so you’ll be spending at least three hours of your life dedicated to the film, and you have to ask yourself how much that’s worth. If you really do feel like you have to see it, then at least try to make it to the cheapest matinee possible. And Godspeed.