The Transporter

Dan Goldwasser Movie Reviews

Remember those really cool BMW Films back in 2001 starring Clive Owen as “The Hire”? Well, imagine if Luc Besson and Robert Mark Kamen took the idea of a “transporter”, and added the same level of absurdity that could be found in Kiss of the Dragon, and The Fifth Element – but without the humor or the romance. Imagine if that movie’s title evoked a sense of Star Trek technology. Imagine if… oh forget it. The Transporter is a blast – literally. Directed by Corey Yuen, the action sequences are quite fun (check four out here). But the story and the plot are just bordering on ludicrous. I can’t even go into details; my brain hurts from thinking about it.

The score by Stanley Clarke isn’t bad – but there were a few moments that I had to cringe. How cliche is it these days when you have two people about to get into a little hand-to-hand combat, and there is no sound except the really cheesy awful drum beat? I’m not talking a primal, tribal rhythm. No no – I mean, like a regular, plain old drum beat. [shudder]. This film’s a rental, and it’s worth it just for the action. (Try not to cry at two of the most absurd lines you’ll hear on film, towards the end of the movie.) Who do I credit – Besson or Kamen – for those? Does it really matter?