The Cat in the Hat

Dan Movie Reviews

How does one take a beloved classic children’s book, and turn it into a rather colorful pile of steaming poo? Through Imagine Entertainment, apparently. The Cat in the Hat is, while a vibrant and visually intriguing film, not worth the celluloid it was printed on. Sure, the “moral” of the story is there, but even at a paltry 80 minutes, it felt way too long. Even The Grinch was better.

I did not like this movie, not one bit.
It was so bad I wanted to spit.

Mike Meyers was fulfilling his contractual obligation.
It was rather heartless, without any motivation.

I felt like cringing when he started to speak.
I bet it will be in theaters for only a week.

I laughed only twice; it was not funny.
I’m so glad I spent no money.

The music was generic, with no real theme.
The visuals were crazy, like in a dream.

Should you see this movie? No way in hell.
I bet even Gigli was easier to sell.

(Well, I tried!)