Hey, I’ve got a great idea for a movie. Let’s make a psychological thriller with the title taken from a children’s game. And then, uh, let’s get a famous actor who jumped the shark a few year ago to play the lead. And get a child actress to play the scared little girl, so we can get all freaked out because, well, no one likes seeing scared little girls!
Then let’s get a few different actresses to play minor roles – and kill them off, if we can! Yeah, that’d be cool. Oh – and don’t forget the red herrings! Maybe a creepy neighbor. Or a somewhat suspicious-looking sheriff.
As the movie progresses, don’t forget to have lots of formulaic moments. Like the cat that leaps out without warning. And loud noises in the sound mix. And if you can, be sure to have a creepy soundtrack with a soft voice making “lah lah lah” sounds like another film did oh-so-many-years-ago.
We have to have the twist at the end, and then we’ll of course realize that the answer to the mystery was in front of us the whole time. And then, when everything seems just fine and resolved – dun dun dun!! There’s something to indicate a sequel.
What’s that? You mean they already made this movie? Crap.