Transporter 2

Dan Movie Reviews

It might come as no surprise that I couldn’t find a guest who was interested in seeing Transporter 2, the sequel to the 2002 film starring Jason Statham as Frank Martin, the film takes place (apparently) a few years after the events in the first one. Written by Luc Besson and Robert Mark Kamen, this sequel is just as ludicrous and absurd as the original. So, where do I begin?

The basic plot is that a crime boss wants to infect the son of a high-level government official involved in the drug war with a contagious virus so that it would spread to his dad (the official) and others around him, thus making some Columbian drug lords very happy. (whew – you get that?) Problem is, as a favor, Frank is currently driving the kid around – and he gets pulled into the volitile mix.

I’m not gonna say that this is a good movie in the least – but I did certainly enjoy myself. The fights are fast and fun, and the stunts are, to say the least, absurd yet “cool”. Dialogue is a joke, for the most part. I’m not talking about hammy one-liners. I’m talking about a worse infraction. Lengthy, unrepeatable swaths of dialogue that leave you with a crooked smile, because you can just picture Besson and Kamen in a room, smoking cigarettes and drinking cheap French wine, and laughing all the way to the bank. But big kudos to them for casting German model/singer Katie Nauta as a slinky sexy assassin. Sure it’s absurd to see her blazing away at Frank with sub-machineguns in just a bra and panties after the fire sprinklers have been activated, but hey – it satisfies the needs of the target demographic!

The biggest laugh-out-loud part has to be the out of control climax, involving a fight aboard a private jet, in which the pilot has been shot, and the plane is in a dizzying spin. Actually, that’s not the laughable part. The part is what happens right after, when the plane slams into the ocean at (what looks like) over 200mph, but suffers very little structural damage, and everyone (except the dead pilot) ends up emerging relatively unscathed.

This film starts at full-speed, and doesn’t stop until the end. There is no room for character development in a film like this – and it doesn’t really try. If you’re looking for mindless action, this is the film for you.