Dan Movie Reviews

I suppose it was inevitable that a movie based on one of the biggest computer games of the 1990’s would be made. Doom is, as most people who know me should know, a game that was near-and-dear to my heart. Back in 1994, I helped design the “AliensDoom” mod for the game, and we were even published in a book. Anyways, 11-years later, the movie has finally come out. And wow, what a piece of crap.

Actually, to call Doom a piece of crap would be a disservice to the hundreds of people who put a lot of time and energy into the film, and I’m sure they must have been fully dedicated to the quality of the product. It’s just that it doesn’t show up on the screen. The computer game was a lot of fun to play late at night, with the dark flickering lights and monsters that jump at you out of nowhere. With good sound design and a reasonable graphics card, it was a fun experience. And multiplayer kicked ass.

The movie, unfortunately, isn’t a game. It’s a cinematic event, and as such it needs a structural narrative to progress the storyling and give us a beginning, a middle, and end, and hopefully some semblance of character development and/or interesting action that progresses the plot. Yeah, right – like I should have expected that from this? Please.

The characters are completely one-dimensional and unsympathetic. Sarge (The Rock) is boring and shallow. The action consists of really dark scenes, with monsters jumping out at us in rather cheap scares, and most of the creatures look like rejected designs from Alien Resurrection. Yawn. The script was horrible, and the music by Clint Mansell was grating on the ears.

The only interesting thing was how the production designer managed to accurately recreate the same sets and logo design / artwork as seen in-game from Doom 3. (Yes, that’s the best I can come up with.) Oh – and the opening title logos were cool. So if this comes on late night on cable, be sure to catch the first 3 minutes. Otherwise, stay away – very very far away. (But you can play the game!)